Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
