if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
