There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
