I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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