Kiss
Puke
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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