just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think I sprained my soul last night
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
