Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
