I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
