I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
