The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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