Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize