btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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