im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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