never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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