I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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