What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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