Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
