Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
