The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
