You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
