Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
