; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
