I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You are the jesus of drinking
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
