Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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