The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
