so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just found puke in my bra..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
