Yo dont text me then not text me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
