I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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