YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize