Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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