I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
