The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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