so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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