it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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