worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Every concussion has its silver lining
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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