5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
