My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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