i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize