I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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