every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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