He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I would fuck him just for his dog
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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