so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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