So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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