how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
