and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
