If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
