Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
