I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
