I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Shame - the story of my life.
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