Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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