3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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