And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
