I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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