Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
