I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
