I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
