We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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