i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
