2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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