Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize