the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
