I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
