i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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