I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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