dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The adults are the big ones right?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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