barbara walters just said penis...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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