sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
