He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just fell off a train. Bad.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
