Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize