Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
