Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
