WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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