ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize