I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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