Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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