I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
