I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
