On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
