Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
