Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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